Miss Sally and Miss Betty’s Guide on How to Walk a Human
Humans need exercise. If they don’t get it the become “chubby.” It’s up to the dogs to save them.
1. Allow your human to tether themselves to you. This keeps them from wondering off or running away.
2. Your human will probably need breaks. Be considerate and stop and sniff often.
3. Bark frequently. Humans have short attention spans.
4. When you go to the bathroom, walk away. If you have trained your human correctly, they will pick it up. Good aerobics.
5. Periodically drag your human as fast as you can. This is called interval training.
6. Do not allow your human to shorten the walk. They are being lazy. Sit in protest if you must.
7. Once you return home, allow your human to remove their tether, then lick their face many times. This is positive reinforcement for a job well done!
8. Nap!