I normally eschew politics. (I’m not exactly sure what eschew means but it looks like “chew” and I love any word that reminds me of bone chewing!) I have a tight schedule what with my naps and walks and my numerous duties as chief canine officer here at Jimmydog, so I typically leave politics to my people Stephanie and Todd Belcher. They are civically minded. They always vote and get involved in matters that are important to them. Over dinner, they often talk about the issues of the day—though never to the point of forgetting to feed me my own special treats while they prattle on. (This is one of the many, many reasons they are the best people ever.)

But this year, it’s been impossible, even for a busy dog such as myself, to ignore the presidential campaign. I mean that one guy with the odd hair is on TV all the time!

And, I have to say, I’m concerned. So far, these candidates aren’t talking at all about issues that are important to me, a proud member of the pet community. As best I can tell, none of these candidates even has a pet! If they do, they certainly don’t talk about them or bring them on the campaign trail. And, as an on-the-go dog, I can tell you how much fun it would be to ride on one of those big campaign planes.

To me, that makes them all unqualified for the White House. To be U.S. president, you have to have a pet. I mean there’s precedent for this. The Obama family didn’t have a dog when President Obama won, but as soon as they moved in, his very smart daughters made him get not one, but two. And I think Bo and Sunny have represented dogs well during their time in office.

I had Stephanie look it up on the Google machine and every president at least as far back as Eisenhower has had a dog. Many had several dogs and also cats. George W. Bush even had cow named Ofelia (though he kept it on his ranch in Texas, not in the Oval Office) and John F. Kennedy had a menagerie for his kids that included parakeets and ponies (again, not all living at the White House, but that’s OK). But it’s not just a matter of having pets of their own that’s important. These candidates need to be talking about the issues that matter to pets, pet people and everyone who loves and appreciates animals. Here’s a pet-friendly political platform that would get my tail wagging:

* Make spaying and neutering mandatory: I admit I didn’t enjoy my own lady surgery. It’s never fun going to the vet, and my tummy hurt for a while afterward, but there are too many homeless dogs and cats to keep bringing so many new ones into the world. I myself was unwanted for time and it was my luck (oh, how lucky I am!) that Stephanie and Todd fell in love with my photo and decided they had to meet me. (Of course, once they did, they HAD to take me home to make me part of their pack!) In our own little county in North Carolina, they put down more than 5,000 cats and dogs every year! That’s a tragedy! Here’s my idea: Everyone has to spay or neuter their pets. If you don’t want to because you want your pet to have puppies or kittens, you have prove that you already have good homes lined up for every puppy or kitten that will be born and those committed pet adopters have to sign some legal paper (Stephanie says that might be an affidavit) promising that they’ll love and care for those puppies and kittens for their whole lives. If they can’t do so in the future, they will return the animals to you and you have to love and care for them. Also, if you choose not to spay or neuter your pet, you need to pay a hefty annual fee and all that money should be used to care for homeless or neglected animals until they can find a loving forever home like mine.

* Ban tethering. My people, especially Stephanie, have worked very hard to ban the practice of tethering of dogs. Putting a dog out on a chain unattended for many hours at a time creates dangerous, unhealthy situations for dogs. Some poor dogs spend their entire lives chained up. It’s so horrible, I can hardly think about it. No dog should live on a chain. If someone can’t offer a dog a warm, dry, safe place to sleep and play; a healthy diet; access to fresh water; regular exercise; routine vet care; and affectionate companionship, then they shouldn’t have a dog. (By the way, cats, gerbils, potbelly pigs—all pets—deserve those same basics. Again, don’t have a pet if you can’t properly care for it.)

* Toughen the penalties for animal abuse. Too often, people who abuse or neglect animals are ordered to pay a small fine and do community service. Very few are sentenced to jail and, even those who are, don’t serve much time. People who hurt animals should go to jail—for a long time. I don’t know exactly how long but a long, long time. And, after you’ve served your time, you shouldn’t be allowed to have a pet again. I want tough-on-animal-crimes candidates!

* Make pets tax deductible. I don’t pretend to understand tax law, but my people grumble occasionally about the taxes they have to pay. Apparently, if you have dependent children, you get a tax deduction, which means you don’t have to pay quite so much. Well, pets are dependent on people, too. Heck, I can’t even open the door or make my own breakfast and I’m 13! I figure that if my people pay less in taxes, they could buy me more bones and take me on more car trips. Good for the economy! Good for Freddie! Wow! These ideas are so good, I might have to run for office myself one day. Who wants to be my running mate?

Yours in dogness, Freddie